It's How You Get There

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. -George Bernard Shaw Their eyes are gleaming in anticipation. White teeth glinting. They stomp eagerly at the line, aching to dart forward, but are held back by the invisible force of command. I begin inching backwards, knowing that if I move too quickly the tenable control we have will break, and I may not be able to get it back before the damage has been done.  I stretch my legs a little bit, all the while watching them carefully. Looking for signs that one of them might snap. They chatter excitedly, fidgeting, but they stay behind the line. Taking a couple steps backwards I look over at the others then nod. They back away from the sides of the line, leaving me alone to face the eight kindergartners twitching for the signal to charge into the playground.  Eyeing them suspiciously I address my little pack: " Now, remember, we run when I say 'go'."  Shouts of agreement come from the gr...

Violence is never the answer but sometimes, like with cockroaches, it is the only possible response. Tanya Huff If you've read the title, and it made you squirm, this post may not be for you. I'll still love you, I won't even know you didn't, and since you clicked on the link, I've already got the click count so feel free to move on to a bug free realm.  For those of you who have stuck around, LET ME TELL YOU. I've become a ninja. My powers of observation have tripled. I know the black spots in my apartment intimately , and if there's a new spot, I have a swath of toilet paper or my Squisher Swiffer (a repurposed floor mop) in a matter of seconds.  My "Sweet Home" fans (all two of you) know how I'm vibing. Before you go "But Shayla, there's poison for those!", I've got my passive defense too. I have two different types of roach bait, some roach spray, and a Borax/sugar mix that I keep under the sink and sprinkle in the garbage...

“Employers babysit parents while their children are at school.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana 10 Laws of Kindergarten Homeroom 1. If you can't be silly you're not going to make it.  2. There's no point in guarding your dignity - they'll give it back when they're done with it.   3. Cute and pretty are NOT interchangeable, suggesting otherwise is a punishable offense.  4. Washing hands is optional, holding hands is not.  5. Unicorns are animals, just like everyone else.  6. Purple is the supreme color, unless you can choose pink. Then always choose pink.  7. You can't copy someone else's drawing unless it's already been telepathically agreed on by everyone beforehand. If you missed the meeting that's just too bad.  8. Skirts make you pretty. Dresses make you Elsa.  9. If you can't do "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" at the speed of light you are the weakest link.  10. You date who they tell you to. Even if it's a king who predates the discov...

“The soul is healed by being with children.”   — Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist and philosopher My kids are trying hard to steal my heart and I think it's working.  A couple weeks ago I was going through a little bit of homesickness/after graduation crisis, and maybe the littles could tell. I try hard to keep that separate from work, since my mood does a lot to set the tone for how the day goes for them, but kids are incredibly intuitive. There is a lot they don't miss. So maybe I fooled them, but they're smarter than I am, so probably not. What amazes me though are which kids initially reach out. In Sun Class (older kindergarten) we have Dani who is a feisty little thing with a big attitude. Her dad also brings her to school on his motorcycle, and let me tell you, I didn't believe it the first time she told me. Then I saw it. Her dad doesn't match our Harley biker stereotypes, but to say he isn't super cool pulling into that parking lot with her tucked be...

“Oogway: There are no accidents. Shifu: [sighs] Yes, I know. You've already said that twice. Oogway: That was no accident either. Shifu: Thrice.” ― Kung Fu Panda I cried in church today.  I woke up to Sunday like I regularly do, put on my makeup like I regularly do, walked into church five minutes before it starts like I regularly do, and sat in my seat like I usually do, and cried.  It wasn't a loud cry, that was saved for the video call with my parents when I got home. It was the gentle welling where only a tear or two escapes, but knowing it's only one "are you ok, dearie?" away from exploding into a miniature representation of Old Faithful.  The week was a bit of an emotional one. Perhaps it was a delayed onset of culture shock, or maybe my erratic sleep schedule had started to catch up with me, but I was closer to my emotions than I have been in a while. A large part of it has been I have slowly felt myself slipping in key behaviors that generally keep me afl...

Littles feel pain. Sometimes it's easy to forget that. They play so well, laugh hard, are good at acting like they can't hear thing. Sometimes it's easy to forget that. That they get dragged into big people problems that aren't their fault. That there are pains and struggles they have to pretend don't exist when they come to school. Their lives have to continue, and often at the beat of someone else's drum. Some of these emotions are shiny and new, terrifying in their size and intensity. Their very presence creating a overwhelming paralysis. Augmenting the terror.  Then they cry and are told they can't. They're told to use words they don't have. To express feelings they don't know exist. Is it a wonder then they turn to silence? That when they realize they can't be understood they pull away and stay within themselves? Because at least that's a constant. In this whirl of pain and confusion, at least they can trust themselves to not disappo...

For cleanness of body was ever esteemed to proceed from a due reverence to God, to society, and to ourselves.      Francis Bacon Saturday I cleaned, and I did it with a fury and passion that only comes to me when a) I'm being paid to do it or b) stress cleaning.  Cleaning isn't hard for me. Throughout college, every time I came home on breaks, and after graduation, I used housing cleaning to augment my income. It's actually what introduced me to my last boss who eventually hired me to come work in the office as a leasing agent. So while I'm not always the neatest person, I'm not afraid of some of the weird things can come up with a dirty house.  Stress cleaning though, I entirely attribute to a roommate from college who's sanity highly depended on the apartment being clean. She wasn't anal - the bathroom and back rooms could be in any condition we liked. But the living room and kitchen, where we lived and had visitors, had to be kept orderly. And about twice...

“I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”  -  Haim Ginott When I was younger I remember how excited I was when I would get that text notification from a friend. Before that it had been email, and I'd have to wait days between messages. When I first started texting I loved the faster responses, hearing from them within minutes. Gleaning every ounce from the 160 word count limits. This was a vast improvement it seemed to me from having to wait for the email or the chance to see them on Sunday at church. I loved my friends, and I loved...

“Children make your life important.”   — Erma Bombeck, American humorist Students. They get grumpy, I try to be the bigger person. They fall asleep in class, I'm grateful there's a mask to hide my yawning. I call them the wrong name on accident, they call me by the older teacher's in retaliation. I forget to leave enough time for games at the end of class, they roll their eyes when I use sentences like "The dragon licked the knight.".  They get frustrated with in-class work, and we all feel hopeless when I don't understand the English words they're trying to use. Erasers get chucked across the room, and answers for tests get said out loud. Someone is always either taking off their mask, or chewing on it.  And all at the same time, when I come over to help the little who's dozing off during class, he leans against me and holds my hand while I walk him through the assignment. The boy chewing his mask grins at me as his mask falls down, and I can't he...

"To have another language is to possess a second soul." -Charlemagne I think every teacher or parent has that one phrase that they find themselves saying almost automatically. Like a broken record, the words and sounds wind through their heads and out their mouths almost thoughtlessly, triggered by the behavior they're meant to influence.  As a teacher with a wide variety of students ages, these sayings can vary. For my littles "find you seats" and "wash your hands" are pretty standard. For my early elementary I'm regularly caught saying "Is your name (insert name of child I had actually asked to answer)?". And for my older classes a variation of "really, dude?" is not uncommon. But the phrase most uttered in every class regardless of the situation, is "Is this Korean class?", "It's okay if you whine at me, but it has to be in English.", "Korean? What's that?", and the one to rule them all, ...

‘I cannot be a teacher without exposing who I am.’ –Paulo Freire You see how tall that building is? Everyday is leg day at FTK. I have just over 30 students that I teach over the course of a week. It's a small group, but they're already my favorites. One of my most consistent prayers since getting here has been that I will love my students and be effective in helping them. Mostly, because I know what it's like to have awesome teachers who were obviously invested in me, and I know what it's like to have those who aren't quite to invested. I get it, I totally do, but especially since I have such small classroom sizes, I want to take as much advantage of it as I can to help them be successful.  Having been a TA in college and taught for many years in church, I love helping people work through the things that they're struggling with. Having vivid memories of feeling like I had a perpetual wall built up in my mind regarding anything that had to do with math, I relate...