Reading People 101
“If you have carefully examined hundred people you met in your life journey, it means that you have read hundred different books! Every person you know is a book; world is full of walking books; some are boring, some are marvellous, some are weak, some are powerful, but they are all useful because they all carry different experiences of different paths!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan
Not to brag, but I've successfully made it to 27 years on this planet, and I'm not a professional at reading people, but I will say this, whoever said not to judge a book by it's cover wasn't really wrong. People surprise you, and are often a lot more than what you expected. That doesn't mean though that you can't get a flavor for the genre they've written themselves within a couple of meetings.
Everyone is a solid mystery (especially if it's the opposite gender), but whether it's a comedy, horror, slice of life, or thriller, getting a full picture generally takes a little bit of prodding. But as I've gotten older I do think I've gotten a little better at reading them. I skim less, get better at asking questions, figure out how to identify crucial plotlines...and have boiled some of my observations down to the following points:
1. Planned social gatherings result in preplanned social behaviors, so everyone you meet there you'll need to meet a few more times until you all are comfortable enough to start slipping up in front of each other.
2. It's hard to know if you'll truly like or dislike a person until you've gone through a couple tricky situations with them. By the end you'll either be best friends or one of you will be the one eaten by zombies.
3. Nice people just get nicer. It's incredible really. Now don't get me wrong, I know a lot of genuinely good people. But there is a select handful that radiate goodness so strongly that I'm constantly in awe of them. I'm pretty sure the only reason they haven't been taken up to heaven, it's because the rest of us needed a template to follow. It's certainly not because they didn't qualify for entry.
4. It's okay to decide if a group you've been playing with is no longer your cup of tea. This is true if you're in middle school, high school, working, or on your death bed. If they're not helping you be a better person or are pulling your away from healthy changes you need to be making, it may be time to switch groups.
5. Sometimes there will be people you meet who draw you in the second you meet them (insert the individual you thought of at the beginning of this post). Something about them speaks to you on a deep level that you may not quite understand. Maybe they have really cute eyes, a quirky sense of humor, or just a gentleness that balances your rather aggressive chaotic good. These people are important because they can teach you a lot about yourself. Namely what kinds of things are important to be drawn to, hahaha. Lets just say, lots of kinds of people have really cute eyes and can make you laugh, but not everyone can patiently help you clean out a kitchen or cheerfully watch you butcher their native language without getting judgmental. I've learned it's okay to qualify these interests because however well intentioned, they can be a little over-enthusiastic.
(For any of my younger readers, don't wait until you're 27 to figure out numbers 3 or 5. The zombies certainly won't. Anyone older than me, just feel free to move on to the scarier monsters you're currently facing, I'll be looking forward to your wisdom the next time I level up).
Are any of these affected by culture? So far they feel even more true to me. It takes time to understand people, and with the cultural norms I'm still learning, making assumptions is even more risky. Nothing is ever as it seems as I'm slowly learning that some of those thrillers are really horrors, some fantasies bibliographies, and as always, all are mysteries.
-Shayla
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